Because he is a guy, call him Ji

DSC_0075 (2)After giving my semester exams and after a long internship, I was finally free from all the worldly things and I finally packed my bags and headed towards my grandmother’s place in Bathinda, Punjab. It was fun going through the roads of Punjab, the crops of rice were being sown and taken care of. The farmers were engaged working in their areas while I was happy traveling to my grandmother’s home after seven long months. The food, the love, the excitement of meeting all my relatives after so long that was what I was experiencing.

We finally reached at my maternal grandmother’s place. Everyone was glad to see us and they were eagerly waiting for us that could be determined because they were standing at the doorway of the mansion. We had our brunch, which consisted of my favorite food items and then finally I headed towards my grandmother’s room where the discussion from everything else shifted to calling your husband with respect like Ji, Aap and yes, not taking your husband’s name. My elder cousin brother is about to get married and my grandmother said that his fiancee  would obviously call my brother with respect, I retaliated and asked her, what has my brother done that he demands respect? Also, if he has then he should also call his fiancee with respect. My grandmother was astonished and wordless at the same time. She was about to call me a girl who didn’t have any manners. But, may be she stopped herself from saying so.

But, yes, this question arises in my mind why only a girl has to respect her husband, why not a boy? May be in earlier generations it was the man who was earning but then the woman was the one who was looking after the household chores. And it was like the house couldn’t be run without both of them, hence the point is they are equal. But, now women stand equal to men they earn and they run the household and even if they are housewives, they have their right of being respected.

It is just the society who has forced the women or has imbibed in the heads of everyone that men need to respected. Yes, they need to be but women should also be equally respected. What has a woman done that she is not respected? Why only she has to carry the burden of respecting her husband? Respect is something which comes from within, it shouldn’t be forced, it is something which comes from within our hearts.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. Hitesh Rawat says:

    well, its the same we have been hearing in out family and there are few traditions which aren’t bad enough to follow. Though, I do expect the same be reciprocated by the guy too.

    The best thing about this behaviour is to induce the same feeling in the new born and toddler, who also learn to address other with respect.


  2. Archana Kapoor says:

    The one thing I really don’t understand is what earning has to do with respect. Are women not human beings who deserve respect just like men do?

    I can totally relate with this ‘ji’ crap… thank fully in our household there is no such custom.. if the wife addresses the husband as ‘aap’, the husband is obliged to do the same… 😉

    Cheers, Archana –


    1. Naiyyas says:

      So true Archana and it is nice to hear that in your family you guys don’t have this tradition of calling Aap. 🙂


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