Because the evenings are hard on me- A letter to my elder brother

DSC_0026Some evenings are hard because I need someone to whom I can narrate all my stories without being judged. I call for someone whom I can hug tightly & hang on the shoulder, remaining still for hours together with a hope in my heart that somebody would remain with me throughout the fight which I am in, something called life.

I miss you when I feel like eating some of our favorite cuisines, the ones we eat like animals without judging the way we eat. I miss those evenings which were long, but were the most happening.

I miss those late night dinners which consisted of our favorite breads & sometimes nothing but a bare maggi. Those were the moments that we lived together and they are the best memories that would stay hung in the middle of our hearts.

I miss you when we used to irritate mom, when we used to open up her hair and make sure that she is irritated, but is laughing her heart out. When we used to lock her in the room & used to make merry. When we used to play football with her slippers in the lobby & she used to thrash us for being so notorious.

I also miss those days when we used to fight for all the little things that used to exist between us, and those little things which don’t matter anymore but used to matter then.

I miss those movie sessions which used to go on long & which were amazing. Those ice hockey games which I used to lose & loosing the game lead to watching of another movie because I used to lose the bet, altogether. The bowling sessions were no less.

I miss the times when we lost friends & then we became more of each others friend to compensate the void. I remember telling you to sit beside me till I sleep so that no ghost could come around me, those were the safest nights and the soundest sleep that I could ever have.

I miss the coffee times, which meant talking about serious stuff in my life. The times when you made sure that I don’t commit those mistakes which you made.

I miss wearing your clothes because they are the most comfortable ones which I could ever wear, your perfume has the most soothing fragrance for me and it has some healing touch in it.

I miss those days when I could put things on you & dance all the way through my life. Now I miss you because the evenings are hard because I don’t have a shoulder to hang on, a soul to hug & a person who I know will stay & make my life a living paradise.

I miss you because it is more than a year that you have hugged me.

“An year without you is an year without rain,
An year without you is an unbearable pain,
A year without you has almost made me insane.”

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