Is it that men have a right to abuse while women have a duty to hear it?

dsc_0026While I was sitting with my friend and her boyfriend while having my favourite Paneer Tikka, he scratched his head much and was of the opinion that girls should not abuse, I mean if he would have said that no one should abuse, I would have been jealous of my best friend since she has such an intellectual boyfriend but the guy actually forced me to think that why is that it’s only girls who have these restrictions of not abusing. I thought there are just six fundamental rights available to all the Indians and almost every citizen of every other country but I just got to know that men have this special right that is Right to abuse, yes, they can basically abuse anyone, anywhere and it can be of any type. I have actually brainstormed a lot about this word called abusive language (profanity) and I have arrived at a certain opinion.

Firstly, there are two situations when a person abuses, one is that when everyone is in a jovial mood and you tend to abuse in a mischievous manner. I personally accept that situation because the person who is abusing and the person who is hearing it is completely comfortable with it. But, on the other hand, when people use foul language when it is not acceptable to the person who is being exposed to such language is not at all acceptable.

Secondly, there are types of abusing and they can be safely divided into different levels. If  I say that level 3 is the one which consists of third level abuses which in my mother tongue talks about the private parts of women or men or about a mother or sister or father.  They are so worst that they can tear a person’s ear apart while there are some which are easy to hear and resist.

Thirdly, there are places where you can abuse and where you cannot, even when in a jovial situation, it’s better not to use such a language in a public place because it tends to disturb everyone. While in privacy, one can use it the way they want.

Fourthly, abusing is considered as a powerful thing. Yes, it’s like you have arrows and a bow and every spell of a word is like you hit the person with an arrow. Yes, it’s like a person who abuses is releasing anger and the person to whom he abuses is gaining. How ironical but true, words and words are the only things which can make such a huge difference.

Why does the society think that if you have the power to abuse, you are stronger? Yes, because when someone stares at me and when I ask him politely that he shouldn’t because it makes me feel uncomfortable the person thinks that the girl is polite enough so she is not stronger, but the moment when I show him a fuck off sign and also recite a good chain of abuses, he is all good and doesn’t dare to stare back at me. It’s because of the mindset that if the girls know how to abuse probably she knows how to punch, probably she is strong enough to do things which won’t be good for the guy. I kept on thinking of this thing called right to abuse and I have arrived at certain conclusions which I would like to share with you guys.

Instead, let’s be peaceful, let’s not abuse, let’s try and use our language in the most beautiful ways instead of using it in one of the worst manners.

“Remember, it’s language, a poet who defines and talks about love also picks up his words from the Pandora of the same box of language from wherein some pickup the worst words.”

P.S. I confess that I and my best friend abuse more and talk less, but that’s when we are not in public and also we use it in the jovial situation. And, remember people if a person abuses, even if it is someone elder to you, firstly, try and explain that you are not comfortable with the words, but if the person doesn’t mend his/her ways than you have an equal right to abuse the person back because, in the end, a person doesn’t  get to know that how tight are the shoes unless he is made to wear them.


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